The paradox of a pandemic
Updated: Apr 4, 2020
When I envisioned the year 2020 it was full of opportunity and anticipated risks. I was working for an awesome marketing agency and hoping to be promoted, creating packing lists for upcoming trips, and heading out to dinner every-other-week. I was continually putting off menial tasks because I was mentally exhausted.
All of those things are now gone.
No permanent job, all travel on hold, (unless you count actively dodging other people on their daily walks), and eating dinner off my coffee table. 2020 sure swept the leg on a lot of us.
So what is a gal to do? I was so used to my routine and the speed at which I worked. Now, I sit too long, binge watch shows, and stare longingly out the window waiting for the inspiration of motivation; but it just wouldn't come, not even for the tasks I "never had time for."
I felt like such a slob. That I should have begun working on my resume and portfolio updates immediately. Finished my sketches and paintings. Organized my life for an upcoming move. But I didn't. I should have been better at working out, but I wasn't. I had even lost my desire to read, which is one of my favorite things to do in any weather at anytime, under just about any circumstance. This circumstance was different.
I realize now that my lack of motivation is something very human: sadness and grief and I needed to give myself a break. Many of us now have to deal with the loss of the reality we expected to happen, and to allow ourselves to lay around and eat junk food while we heal. Our goals and dreams haven't changed, but the pathway toward them may now be longer and more rocky.
A new future now awaits us; but I want to remind everyone, (especially myself), to engage in the present. See yourself as you are; as someone who has talent and skill, drive and patience, humor and wit. If we see ourselves through the same supportive lens we use to see others, there is no stopping what we can achieve when we all get back to work.
I suppose that's the amusing part I find in this pandemic: we have to stop moving in order to move on. It doesn't have to be today or tomorrow, but eventually that drive will come back. I for one am looking forward to the day when we can walk along side each other and share some drinks on a patio.